I think perhaps I may have a wee bit of a problem...

***editor's note***

I was "supposed" to have this done and up before I went to see New Moon, but *everygoddamnmotherfuckingtime* I try to log on to Verizon's web site to access my phone pics, the password is 'invalid' and I can't log on. So I just got off the phone with Verizon... AGAIN... after changing my password... AGAIN... so I could get the totally delish photos to complete this post. And yes I saw New Moon and I don't know how I feel about it yet so you'll just have to wait for that post. Later.

***

A few days ago I was walking through Nordstrom, and I saw this:

FSE, still folded up and in his packaging

So I promptly took a photo and sent it to Lost Rose.

A few days after THAT I was walking through Nordstrom AGAIN when I saw this:

FSE, in all his FS glory

Of course, being the dedicated friend that I am, I immediately snapped a pic and sent it to Lost Rose, 'cause that's her boyfriend.

Then I noticed this:

Holy crap, it's FSJ! I didn't even know there WAS an FSJ!

MY BOYFRIEND!

Notice how he's SOOOO tall, I had to tilt my phone to fit all of his studly goodness into the frame!

[Is this inappropriate? Is this some kind of k***ie porn? I don't even want to type the phrase in case the FBI has some kind of bot scanning the Internet for it. But I feel giddy/icky when I see FSJ.]

But not icky enough to keep me from doing this:

I feel that this crossed some kind of line.

Oh yes, I posed for a photo with a cardboard cutout of Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black. The blonde lady who you see from the back in the photo of FSJ kindly offered to take it for me. After she confirmed that I wasn't photographing HER. [Oh, yeah, I totes wanted *your* picture - I wasn't taking photos of the TOTALLY HOT fake cardboard guys to your immediate left and right. No, not at ALL.]

I know that it seems like my problem might be going to Nordstrom too much - but I promise that's not it. The first time, I went to their cafe because I needed lunch and they have quick, good, non-junk food. And the second time, I had Bean with me and Nordie's has lovely restrooms with posh diaper changing facilities, as well as an elevator with street access. I'm REALLY not there shopping three times a week.

My problem is that I'm so stoked, so giddy at the prospect of seeing New Moon approximately 23 and a half hours from now, that my shame has totally dissolved into nothing. No shame! I stopped in public to take photos of cardboard cutouts and posed with one of them! What's happening to me!

Also can we pause for a moment and reflect on the weirdness of Nordstrom retailing New Moon goodies? It just seems kind of odd to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful - I might even go back just to visit FSE and FSJ! See what I mean about a 'problem'?

Sources: Me, me, ALL ME! Yay ME!

Is Kellan Lutz…. Um… A Himbo?

I don’t know … I mean … I’m not sure, but… what if Kellan Lutz is…DUMB? Could it be?

I don’t know about you but I have a hard time fantasizing about a freakishly hot total stranger who I will never meet and who is a full decade younger than me - if I think he’s dumb.

[Shut UP, Lost Rose, Taylor Lautner gets a pass ‘cause he hasn’t even graduated from high school yet! And I do not fantasize about him… I just slaver over his shirtless photos because That’s Normal!]

Shhh, Kellan, I know. It’s OK. You’re still smokin’ hot with a ridiculous body, a gorgeous face, and a wicked smile. You’re still, technically speaking, the most physically attractive of the Cullen boys. Cutie’s guest post on SLP pretty much sums it up. I mean, you’re still KELLAN LUTZ. It’s gonna be OK.

Hey babe, I'm off to the course for a round of the world's most boring game!

But, Kellan – really? The Purpose-Driven Life is your favorite book? You like working out with your dog? Your mom is the coolest person you know, and you aren’t happy unless you break a sweat every day? Next thing you know, you’ll be saying that golf is your favorite sport and you think playing video games is the funnest thing ever.

*Dies* --- > *Of boredom*

Hey, baby, wanna play some Nintendo?

I feel like I did when I read a million years ago that Chris O’Donnell plays the stock market for fun: “Ohhhhhhhhh… You were cute… and now… you’re not. Sorrygottagobye!”

[*whooshing air noise followed by sound of door slamming as I run away….*]

And so, Kellan, I’m sorry, but this just isn’t going to work for me. I need a little… complexity.

PS:

In putting this together, I forced myself to google images of Kellan Lutz. It was brutal. There were SO MANY literally stomach-droppingly-fine photos of the man, I got the shakes. The shakes! I almost trashed this whole post because I was like, he’s soooooo fiiiiiiinnnnnnne…. who cares if he’s dumb and boring! Almost. It’s like when Rolling Stone ran that cover of Brad Pitt, long-haired and shirtless for Legends of the Fall, and he said something like ‘I’m not particularly good in bed’ and we were all: Dude. No one cares if you’re good in bed. Just lie still! I almost don't care if Kellan's dumb! Almost.

Also on a final note of hysterical giggling, when I was researching the part about Chris O’Donnell thinking the stock market was fun, I found that at the end of the article I linked to, it notes that he is an avid golfer! He meets another criterion of boringness and I didn’t even know it!

Sources: Sources, sources, FUCK ME! OK - Images from start to finish - the bitchen motivational poster is from IllegalWolfLover via Letters to Twilight; the car one is from aussietwilightmums.com and I'd like to join THAT club, and the last pic is from mtv.com. The links are hopefully self-explanatory upon clickety-clicking.