Christmas and the Sad Girl

From the day after Thanksgiving til the day after Christmas - or even New Year's if I can manage it - I gorge on Christmas music. This is definitely an instance where scarcity breeds desirability. The Uptight Yankee hates Christmas music. On December 13th he walked into our living room and said to me, "Christmas music again? Aren't we done with this yet?" Ummmmm.... is Christmas over yet? No? Then no. We aren't done with it yet.

Yet as part of my campaign for militant happiness this year, I've had to restrict my holiday music. Because some Christmas music is just... sad...: 'through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow'? That's sad, and I can't open the door to sadness, not even a crack. I can't indulge sadness at all, not even in Christmas music. This requires a keen ear and a quick trigger finger on the iPod's FF button. And it's led to some weird aural judgement calls.

"Miss You Most at Christmastime," "I'll Be Home for Christmas [If Only In My Dreams]," or "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"? No, no, annnndddd.... no. But: "All I Want for Christmas is You," "I Want You for Christmas," and "Meet Me Under the Mistletoe"? Check, check, and check.

"Silent Night," "Christmas Dreaming," and "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve"? Nopity-nope nope nope. But in the category of non-traditionals there's "Christmas Wrapping," "What Would Santa Say if He Saw Everybody Swinging," "Feliz Navidad," and, what the hell, "The Hannukkah Song." Bring it!

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "White Christmas," and "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)"? Hell no. But: "Let It Snow," "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas," "Sleigh Ride," or "Winter Wonderland"? Done, done and DONE.

Then you've got your inappropriate songs: "Santa Baby," "Back Door Santa," and "Merry Christmas Baby." And rock seems to harbor only happy Christmas music: "Jingle Bell Rock," "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." Your proper-noun titles are usually acceptable too: "Frosty the Snowman," "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." Can't go wrong with those guys!

This year I've chosen a Christmas anthem: "We Need A Little Christmas." This is the one that goes "HAUL out the HOL-ly...." and sounds like Judy Garland after a hit of methamphetamines following an overload of barbiturates the night before. Except it's not - according to my cable radio info, it's Angela Lansbury, "With Cast." Hm. Cast of what? At any rate, this song sports the perfect "Oh, I fully intend to have myself a merry little Christmas, motherfuckers" attitude that I'm after right now.