I wanted to love New Moon, but I kind of didn't. I just can't put my finger on *why* I don't love it. It wasn't a bad movie - I didn't feel 2nd-hand embarrassed for all involved upon leaving the theater. While this one was shinier and smoother than the first one, and thankfully was without any spider-monkey moments, in the end it left me feeling that it lacked something. Right before we got to the Votluri, I remember thinking, 'C'mon, now, let's go, this is dragging.' [That's also the point where my bladder hit critical capacity and I bailed for the ladies'. Note to self: lots of alcohol and Diet Pepsi for hours before a movie? Not bright. Not bright at all.] But I can't point to any one moment that I thought slowed it down.
It's not that I already knew what was going to happen, because we all knew the outcome of the first before we watched it, too. Somehow that 'creepy old vampire boy falls for passive nubile human girl' story still translated to film with tension and surprise intact. New Moon? Not so much. For me the book is the moodiest, the saddest of the series and I didn't think that Bella's internal pain translated that well onto the big screen.
Here's something else: I expected to cry. That's right, my two readers who have known me since college and know that I am more likely to laugh than cry at sentimental movies: I expected to cry, and I did not. Hell, I got more choked up upon watching the series finale of Prison Break than I did New Moon, although perhaps that says more about me than either of these two viewing pleasures.
Dude. RIP, Michael Scofield. RIP.
The movie had its bright spots, though, including Anna Kendrick as Jessica Stanley, picking up every scene she was in and just running off with it. I hate Jessica Stanley of the Books, but thanks to Kendrick, I love Jessica Stanley of the Movies. Her every eyeroll, heaved sigh, and vacuous Valley Girl rant is to be savored. In New Moon, Kendrick in her bit part outshined even the shirtless underage hunk, and that's saying a lot since I am a card-carrying co-captain of Team Jailbait. Kendrick's starring in Up in the Air with George Clooney, and I am so there.
Other moments I loved? Anything with the wolf pack. (Duh.) I thought the wolf transitions were thrilling, and the scene where Bella baits a pack member (sorry, can't remember who, 'cause for me the pack splits into Jacob... and The Rest of Them...) and sparks a fight between them was awesome.
Gratuitous Tay-Tay photo - what? Can you blame me?
As someone who identifies with the experience of having months of her life eroded by loss and despair, the scene where Bella sits at her window as time flows past, while the song I refer to as "The Wrist Slitter" [Possibility by Lykke Li] plays in the background was a clever way to translate Meyer's chillingly blank pages to the screen. That's one of the only times I truly admired SM's writing, and it was one of the few times the movie truly surprised me.
And let me state unequivocally: the ending? LOVED IT. The shock of that closing scene delighted me and gave me a reason to fall back in love with Chris Weitz. My people were not united in this though. While I was clapping my hands in glee, people around me were booing their disapproval.
I've got to give a shout out to Billy Burke's Charlie. His every utterance awash in an ocean of irony and sarcasm, I just want to eat him up with a spoon. I know you're not supposed to wantBella's DAD, for crying out loud, but, well, I am 35 and Burke is a DILF and I am only human. Sheesh.
Psssst! I think you're hotter than the dude who plays Edward! Shhh!
At the end of the day, does it matter if I LOVED New Moon, or only liked it? Does it matter if I think Kellan Lutz is dumb? Not really - in for a penny, in for a pound as they say. I devoured the books, and I'll be there for the movies. All of them.
Aw, crap, I posted this and then I was all, "FUCK! SOURCES!": Uhhhhhh. The Scofield one is from about.com, Jacob is watermarked with Twilighters Anonymous although it looks like official New Moon shwag to me, and Burke... Burke... um... Access Hollywood? FanPop? Fuck if I know.
First off, I LOVE you!
ReplyDeleteOK, now that I got that off my chest. . . without seeing the movie, I totally agree with everything you just wrote (Also, I agree with the pictures. And the bit about Prison Break. Even though I never watched Prison Break.)
I agree that you are more likely to not ONLY laugh instead of cry at sentimental movies, you are more likely to make ME laugh, snottily, mid-weep, by making a cutting, dead-on, and totally mood killing sarcastic comment while everyone around you is wallowing in the movie angst. Which I love, of course.
So you saying you thought you would cry while watching the movie is huge, I know. But SM really did do a spot on job with the agony of teenage love lost in NM, (that bit about the three blank pages . . . so true.) And I HATE to compliment her because she is a terrible writer. Except for the part where I read all four of her books in a glut. But there it is. And getting that to translate from the page to the screen? Tough. (Though, maybe, if the studio hadn't replaced the director from Twilight. . . I'm just sayin')
Again, HAVE NOT seen the movie yet. So, really, how can I even go on about it this much??? I just can, okay?
You have really peaked my interest in the last scene though. . .
Also, did you just coin DILF? I mean, yes, flip side of MILF, of course; but I haven't actually seen that before. I'm only asking because, you know, that whole DILF thing? I think you totally started that.