Here I am with my book club. Why, yes, I DO feel like the Where's Waldo of Twitardia. Notice the carefully applied makeup, the subtly cute outfit... I am prepared for an event about which these gals know nothing: a Twitard's second viewing of New Moon.
I even have my Team Jacob button, although you can't see it - it's in my purse. Yes. That is disturbing on some level.
None of these ladies has ever heard of Twitarded. They don't share my obsession with the Internet Twifandom. As far as I know, they aren't even aware that fanfiction exists. Although I think one of them may have been infected with some kind of Twilight brain-snatching bug. She keeps plaintively asking if any of us have [the first book - no, wait...] [the second book - no, wait...] the third book* because she was supposed to save up the books for vacation but she can't stop reading them. [Knowing smirk...]
"Book Club" is the perfect cover for an undercover Twitard. It wasn't even my idea! When the chicas suggested taking the month of December off from reading, and going to see New Moon instead, what could I say!? I just batted my eyes all innocently and said, sure, sounds OK to me. Who am I to object??**
I almost blew my cover during the trailers, though, because at THIS showing of NM, they ran a preview for Remember Me. Um, it was kind of hard to maintain my cool while watching this trailer - also, it was perhaps a wee bit obvious when I whipped out my phone to text Lost Rose during the preview, all while trying not to hyperventilate. I was pissed that they hadn't shown it during the opening of NM, when I was with my fellow Twitards, aka people who would have given a shit. I was whisper-screaming, "Ohmigod, REMEMBER ME! It's Remember ME! Ohmigod!" and the book club gals were all, "Huh? What?" Jesus, people, are you BLIND? It's Robert Pattinson's face, 20 feet tall and without sparkle makeup!
Annnddddd... it's possible that it wasn't so cool of me to ask the usher to take our photo after the movie. *Shrugs*
Part B of my subterfuge included evading The Uptight Yankee. I can't take any more grief, not after what he dished out before opening night. ("Are you wearing your stick figure shirt to the vampire movie?" Smarmy bastard.) When he asked where Book Club was meeting, I could honestly say, "Wisteria Lane" because that is legitimately the neighborhood of one of our members. I just left out the part about meeting at a movie theater in Wisteria Lane. Thank God he didn't ask what book we were reading. I suppose I could have said we "read" New Moon - that's only a teensy, one-word-from-the-truth lie.
* I can't even help her out because I'm a Twi-mooch - I only own the 4th book. The rest, I mooch from Lost Rose's "bat brick" - what The Uptight Yankee named her Costo boxed set. Although I haven't re-read them in a while, I just listen to Lost Rose vent her way through them, and it's like I'm practically reading them myself!
** Apparently, I was supposed to object. After I texted Lost Rose about the preview, she sent me a very heartfelt text - if you consider a text containing the word "BITCH!" to be heartfelt. Hmph. I didn't KNOW she would consider it cheating on her, to go to New Moon WITHOUT her. I could hardly be expected to maintain my cover with Book Club if I had to tell them, "Sorry, can't go to the movie, I'm SAVING MYSELF FOR LOST ROSE."
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